Finding My Creative Voice: A Journey of Emotional Wellness and Healing Through Art

The crushing weight of a boulder running over my body and suddenly stopping, remaining still, pinning me beneath it so I am paralyzed...but I am standing up, held by some invisible string. The air is completely still, quiet in my lungs, and I feel as though I may collapse at any moment, but I do not. I am made of stone and in this state I cannot ask for help or speak at all. I am suffocating from the weight of emotion.

Over and over again I was crushed beneath that weight while somehow managing to go about my day to day life. Until I couldn’t anymore and that weight was truly starting to suffocate me.

That was my turning point. And it was at that point that I began to paint and chose to fight for my creative voice. 

I didn’t believe it at first, the things I was painting into existence for myself, but I chose to paint them anyway. My paints and markers and crayons became my voice as I created art that said I deserve to have a voice, I deserve to speak up, I deserve to  be heard, to be seen, to be loved. I deserve to love myself.

Each brush stroke chipped away at the weight. Some broke far larger chunks away than others and much of it merely dust brushed away. But slowly the boulder shifted until suddenly I was able to move. Though the boulder remained with me while I walked, the weight gradually diminished.

I still have my boulder. It’s not gone, but it is much smaller than it once was and I am learning to use my vocal cords in addition to my voice in order to chip away at it and prevent it from getting any larger. Yeah, boulders grow if they aren’t being maintained properly.

Boulder maintenance is really important to me. I’ve always enjoyed helping others and just because I struggled to help myself for a long time, that didn’t stop me from wanting to help others. As a teacher that worked, for a while. I learned I had to help myself and love myself first.

Now I have found something that truly helps me: expressing my voice creatively. I use art for my emotional wellbeing and mental wellness, but I didn’t stop wanting to help others. My hope is that my art will help others feel seen, heard and loved. My goal is to empower others with the confidence and tools to find their creative voice and build a community where creativity heals and inspires. 

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