Building My Creative Community: A Sanctuary for Growth and Healing Through Art

I neglected my boulder management this month and they grew pretty heavy.  (If you aren’t sure what I mean by boulder management, check out my first blog post here.) I didn’t meet my challenge of posting every day for 30 days on both Instagram and Facebook and I start over today. It’s beautiful that I can say that and I feel good about being able to say it. Well, I feel good about it, but I am also disappointed in myself for having let it go for as long as I did. Excuses are easy to pile up, but I’m not the type to give up and this is something that I want for me.

I have never been a huge fan of social media. I didn’t have many friends growing up and social media was decent enough as a messenger for friends I wanted to stay in touch with, but I was never someone to try to gain followers or even post regularly. To say that I genuinely want to complete 30 days in a row of posting to both Instagram and Facebook feels alien and completely different, but what I want is to build a community of people who thrive on positivity, a growth mindset and creativity. Instagram and Facebook are the start to that goal. 

I have suffered from a lot of traumas in my life. For most of my life, I have felt fear, loneliness, pain, and a very deep feeling of worthlessness, an inability to connect with others and belong. As I grew up, I watched others suffer a lot of traumas too. Some similar to my own, some radically different and I felt powerless in the face of it all. 

I didn’t want to feel powerless and I became a teacher with the impression that I could make a difference for some of the children in my care who were suffering. 

I did. I made a difference to quite a lot of the children in my care. I have a large box full of letters and cards and mementos that remind me how much of a difference I made to many of those children in my care.

Being a teacher, a good teacher who was rated as highly effective, led a team of teachers, supported her students emotional well being as well as their educational needs and differentiated for each of her students…and did all of the paperwork that entailed, somewhat on time…well, it was absolutely exhausting. To the point of calling out sick in the morning because I can’t stop throwing up from the panic attack I’m having about going to work. I had to quit for my physical and mental well being.

I had to do a lot of serious work in order to function and I still have regular panic attacks. Leaving the house is impossible without preparing myself mentally first and with the necessary security bag / panic attack kit. I can’t work a regular job at the moment and I’m only now starting the process of finding work online from home that is also part time and flexible. I am incredibly grateful that I have been able to take the time off I needed, to work on healing.

During this time art has been what I go back to over and over in order to feel a little better, to release a little of my anger, my guilt, shame, fear, grief, hope, joy and love. I joined a collective who value art and healing and engage in workshops a few times a month. The therapeutic process of using art to release my emotions and the invitation to use my voice in a group setting was exactly what I needed to start the process of deeply healing my soul.

I am not healed. I am healing and I am enjoying every moment of my life that I can while doing so. Healing is a process and it’s not linear. Healing is messy and I’m the type of artist who enjoys messy, even if it makes me uncomfortable sometimes. Ick factor. Healing can be painful too, but it’s easier to deal with the pain in a community that supports you. And a supportive community is more important than ever when that non-linear line does a 180 and it feels like you’re starting at the absolute bottom of the pit again, trying to climb your way out. A supportive community can toss a rope down and call for back-up when needed.

This past month life did some crazy maneuvers on the line. It’s the holidays and those are often hard for anyone with trauma. This year was hard because I chose to walk away from my entire family for my mental health. My relationship with my family was complicated and tumultuous, but I still love them and it hurts that I had to set such a harsh boundary as to cut them out of my life entirely. 

On top of that we had a leak in our master bathroom that caused water damage and mold and we had to vacate to our guest bedroom and bath. The dryers are still running in there, a week later and our living room floor is still seeping water from the pipes under our kitchen sink that started leaking last Friday and has been fixed twice now, on Monday and today. We shall see if it stays fixed. 

There’s been a lot of stress, so I’m giving myself grace. But really, I would give myself grace anyway. Building a community of growth minded artists who support each other is too important to give up on. So I am starting the 30 day challenge again. I will post every day for the next 30 days to both Facebook and Instagram. If I fail, I will start over.

I've chosen to use social media as a platform for community by creating a private Facebook group for people who want to grow through art, share their healing journey through creative expression, or develop their authentic voice. If that sounds like you, you're someone craving connection and enjoy creating, you have a growth mindset and love spreading kindness, I've opened the doors to Healing Heart Creatives. Request access here: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/q5hBPs2Mcu9Yzbuk/

I hope you will join us in building our supportive community. From my Healing Heart to yours, I wish you a supportive and loving atmosphere this holiday season. 

Find my social links down below and join the email list to receive exclusive art prompts, healing stories, and community updates – nurturing your creative soul throughout the new year.