The Invitation to My Ritual of Reciprocal Love

A personal reflection on identity, somatic grounding, and a deliberate ritual of reciprocal love as I enter my thirty-seventh year.

Next month, November 15th marks my birthday. It may seem early to be thinking about it, but last year I made the decision that I would have a birthday that felt right for me this year. 37 is a special number for me and I have been putting in the intentional work towards healing myself so that I may face my birthday with intentional love instead of trepidation and dread. Birthdays of the past have not filled me with feelings of love and joy for another year of life. This year I am injecting my love for myself and my joy for this next year into my birthday.

Me painting my first portal — my first intuitive painting, back in 2024. Before I touched the canvas I set my intention: to let go of my pain and leave it there, in the paint, so I wouldn't have to carry it anymore.

For my 37th birthday I am reclaiming my identity. I made up my name when I was 17 and I paired letters and sounds together that felt like they flowed together to the cadence of me. Last year I legally changed my name to Taelynna Rowan, before marrying my partner and adding his last name.

Lately I have been thinking about what I want Taelynna to mean. It is completely unique, a new name made up by me and therefore it has that connotation: newness, unique, a little strange. To me, Taelynna is choice, freedom of identity and fluidity of movement. Taelynna is an intentional choice, not a thrust upon responsibility and it is creativity and beauty.

My middle name, Rowan, I chose for multiple reasons. I needed a second name. I did not want to take my fiance's last name right away and I wanted more identity, a sense of belonging, which is what our second name gives us, family to belong to.

Rowan is the last name I gave my first original character I wrote at age 12. Rowans are a magical tree, protective and strong, tenacious and grow in the harshest of places. Their white flowers and bright red berries feel powerful in their symbolism. My belonging is to the earth, to the energies that are recycled through the ground beneath my feet. My lineage is the history of energies I have carried with me and which may finally be recycled into new fertile soil.

I painted this before my legal name change, as an intentional choice for my future. I wanted to bring the me I was becoming into existence — so I painted her name in big letters and filled the canvas with everything she needed to hear: that she is worthy, that she can find peace in the quiet moments, that she is beautiful.

I also choose to belong with my partner. Choice is an essential part of me, the choice to share my energy with others and to receive their energy. Intentionality is another vital word for me this year. I choose intentionally who I share my time and energies with and who I receive energy from. With that intentionality, I am choosing to perform rituals for my birthday. One is a Ritual of Release, to allow the heavy emotions I have carried to be released to the earth and the energies recycled. Another is a Ritual of Reciprocal Love.

For the Ritual of Reciprocal Love, I invite my community to participate if they feel called to. Anyone who would like to share their positive energies and love with me and allow me to reciprocate with my positive energies and love may participate. 

I am asking those who engage with the Ritual with me to select a small trinket, quarter sized or smaller. Then they can imbue this object with their connection to me by carrying it with them for a short period of time, an hour, a day or two and when they touch the object to think about our connection, clarity in our communication, understanding of our capacities and boundaries, the shared desire for positive connection, and the positive flow of energy and love between us. 

These are my talismans — the ones I'll be trading in the Ritual of Reciprocal Love. I chose each bead while thinking of specific people, and of the kinds of connections I want to seek out and nurture with people. They're semi-precious stones, gathered with intention, waiting to carry a connection between two people.

When each person feels they have completed this part, I ask that we exchange trinkets, as I will also be imbuing trinkets with my desire for shared positive connection, clarity in our communication, understanding of our capacities and boundaries and the positive flow of energy and love between us. 

I will gather all of the trinkets I receive together to put into a talisman that I can pick up and carry with me when I would like to open up that connection of energies and send and receive energy with my community. In return each person will also be able to pick up their trinket to open up that connection and send and receive energy intentionally.

This feels like the right ritual for my birthday this year, a healing birthday filled with love and connection with those who will surround me with their love and support in return. If you would like to take part, email me and I'll share how to exchange with me- in person or by mail.